This week, Megan, a toddler’s mom, was in my office struggling with a hard decision about a trip she and her mother are considering, separating her from her child, Annabelle. The journey will take Megan and her mother back to their homeland and has profound significance. The tension lies between her need to go with her mother and her reluctance to leave Annabelle for multiple weeks.
Open-relational parenting is not a collection of tips and tricks. It doesn’t prescribe how many ounces of milk to feed, a schedule to follow, or clear answers to travel questions. Healthy parenting requires the wise application of healthy principles to your family.
I encouraged Megan to consider the family’s overall well-being as she weighed her decision. She must consider Annabelle’s needs, her needs, and her mother’s needs. She paused for a moment and then said, “That’s hard. It’s going to take some work.”
Megan realized that parenting is more than using quick tricks. It is more about applying principles that value love and overall well-being. She understood that parenting in this moment is not listening to the voice that says, “You’re selfish if you leave Annabelle for this trip,” or the voice that says, “You’ve worked hard and deserve this trip.” Open-relational parenting looks at everyone’s needs, reflects with wisdom, and makes a decision lovingly considering overall well-being.
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